ReSAUCYcession

*TREND SETTER ALERT*

Recessions are totally in! So so hip. First step…LEARN the lingo!

Recession: A contraction of the economy. The “rule” is that to actually be in a recession we need to see 2 or more consecutive quarters of negative GDP.* So basically, the economy is not growing, it’s shrinking.

-So are we in one? Technically=NO Physically=YES

We are in a “Recessionary Environment” meaning we have all the ducks in a row leading us in that recession-direction.
The US consumer makes up 2/3rds of GDP and the US consumer is hurting. This past quarter, growth of GDP was a measly, yet surprising 1%. The fact that there’s any growth is pretty amazing considering the TON ‘O BRICKS the US consumer has had dropped on them this past year, i.e. mortgage/credit crisis, gas prices, job loss, etc. What’s keeping the GDP afloat? That shnazzy stimulus check! (That magically appeared at the same time gas prices went through the roof). BUT, Now that the stimulus is all gone…what will we be left with??…A RECESSION!

OK, blah, now that I got that out of my system…

Spinning this forecast, which seems desperate and mundane, into a fabulous opportunity is what it’s all about.

This “Recessionary Environment” does come with its PERKS to those of us who 1. take notice and 2. TAKE ACTION. I, myself, like to focus on the perks, so here are some ways to spruce up your recession.

1. Get ready for some major sales.

• Retailers: Wait for the sales for your shopping needs. Retailers will be marking down to move clothes and products.

• SUVs: If you have ever dreamed of a day when you’d be rolling around in an Escalade or Land Cruiser, go check them out now! Now that gas prices have soared, car dealers can’t dump their SUVs faster enough. (TIP: Wait till the last few days of the month for the best deals! Oh, and at the rate crude oil is dropping in the market…gas prices will be much cheaper in a month from now – so TAKE ACTION if you’re in the market for a SUV.)

• Used Cars: This market has exploded in the last few months. There are unbelievable deals out there right now! There is a glut of used cars now that the move toward fuel-efficient vehicles, bicycles and even public transportation has taken hold.

• STOCKS!:I loooooove stocks! There are some fabulous deals in the stock market right now. I would like to spend a whole post talking just about the stocks with the best values I see out there. So, look for that to come!

• Houses: WARNING. WARNING. WARNING. (This goes for stocks too but a house is a much bigger asset!!) The housing market is still looking pretty grim. Yes, houses are on sale but the prediction is that the housing market has really only seen about half the pain in falling prices. If you ARE looking right now, use this as leverage to negotiate a lower price. If you are just thinking about getting into a new house, I say wait, there is a good chance you can get a better deal down the line.

2. Use this time to save that cash and start building a portfolio. Here are some options.

• Start a new savings account (maybe for one of those half-off houses). If you have CASH just sitting in a regular savings account in the bank, there are better places to put it so it can grow for you! Money in the bank right now is only collecting 2% a year. The 2% interest rate will probably go up but it may not be for a year or more so for now you might as well move your money somewhere else, like into a CD* that yields 3-4%.

• Put money in your IRA, Roth IRA, 401(k). Make your yearly contribution as early as you can so you can get that money invested somewhere that will make you a better return. I will be talking much more about Retirement accounts in posts to come!

3. Launch a business. A recession can provide a unique opportunity to entrepreneurs.

• If you have a business idea that is geared toward saving people or companies money…what better time than during an economic downturn to be of service. In the current environment everyone is looking for a way to save, come up with a way and you are made.

• A recession can provide a great opportunity to get ahead as a start-up. When you have a small, efficient workforce you will have the advantage over big-bodied, slow moving corporations who most likely have to cut cut cut.

• Take action. Move forward in an environment where most are moving backward!

That’s it from me today. So much more to talk about but this is getting lengthy. So, get out there and take action ladies!! Work it like you know you can, especially in this recessan! (*Spelling changed for rhyming effect)

Behind the asterisk: MORE VERBIAGE EXPOSED

*GDP (gross domestic product): the total amount of CASH that comes from all final goods and services in the country at a given period of time, i.e. a quarter).

*A CD (certificate of deposit) is a bank investment that has a specific rate of interest (i.e. 3-4%) but also has a specific amount of time you must keep your money in it. CD’s range in time anywhere from 3-months to 10-years. The longer the CD, the higher rate of interest. The benefit is having a fixed rate of return.

Fitness Secrets from a Former Fanatic: PART 1: Fiber, The Liberator.

We’ve all heard the discussion over whether or not your poop floats. Is it better that it does or does not? Which one means you are getting enough fiber? I’ve heard both sides of that battle, and have decided that whether or not my poop floats is really not something I should put much time or staring into the bowl into.

While internal health is important, let’s face it: at this stage in my life, I care more about how I look on the outside. And yes, beauty is within, but desire and envy (which are far more fun) are situated squarely on my ass-cheeks.

The conventional argument for fiber is generally that it a.) fills you up and b.) regulates your digestive system. It does both of these things very well. However, it’s main benefit is that it flushes you out: it de-bloats you and gets rid of all that extra stuff trapped in your body that makes you look and feel bigger. Eating fiber is the best, and healthiest, way to a more svelte body!

I do not suggest that you take the supermodel approach and eat just Fiber One and steamed broccoli- that is not healthy by any means. (And it will have you stuck on the toilet indefinitely). Nor do I think you should be stuck eating things that taste like cardboard. Instead, I implore you to simply supplement fiber rich foods for your regular bread, pasta, etc. etc.

A rundown of my favorite products:

•Trader Joe’s fiber cakes- they come in blueberry and cranberry/apple and have 13 grams of fiber to their 80 calories! Makes an excellent supplement to toast with your morning eggs.

•Smart and Delicious tortillas- the smallest ones are 50 cals with 7 grams of fiber. They make awesome quesadillas and baked chips.

•Trader Joe’s Maple and Brown Sugar Shredded Wheat Bites: They have 5 grams of fiber to a serving, very similar to many other cereals, BUT they taste like cookies. Nuff said.

•Whole wheat pasta: you will adjust to it and learn to love it. With great sauce, it is exactly the same. If you’re really brave, ask me about spaghetti squash.

Now, I ain’t gonna lie. If you haven’t been getting your fiber there will be an adjustment period once you start incorporating high-fiber items into your diet. Hang in there (grab the towel bar if you need to) – it’s worth it!

Dear Engyne Woman: Greetings!

Dear Engyne Woman:

It’s with much hesitation that I bring up this topic, as it will no doubt result in countless instances of the very situations that I seek to minimize.

But here it goes:

For the love of all things Jesus-like and nailed to a cross, will you please never, not once ever, say “I’m fine.”

I mean, it’s okay to say “I’m fine” if you actually are fine, but we all know that you, Engyne Woman, are never actually “fine.”

Something bothers you, and instead of dismissing that thing that bothers you or confronting the parties to whatever slight it was that is consuming your psyche, you do nothing, all in the name of “not causing a stir.”

Will there be some hurt feelings and awkward conversations resulting in your attempts at clearing the air? Absolutely. But that’s a helluva lot better than the strained relationships, broken friendships, and midnight cry-fests that accompany “I’m fine.”

I’ve seen it. I know. You can’t put anything past me. But please try, it’s sexy.

You’re not fine. Fix it.

I know that we in the patriarchal power structure of the western world have raised generation after generation of women to be conciliatory, deferential, and “nice.” And if you weren’t “nice” you were a “bitch.”

Fortunately, in the 21st century we let women wear dungarees now. They’re also allowed to hold real jobs and generally speaking be a productive member of society, instead of merely a live-in nanny, maid, and comfort woman for cigar-chomping, overly pomaded, faded Lotharios in grey flannel suits and with expanding waistlines.

And I for one like a bitch. I like an assertive, confident, direct, woman. I don’t mean those petty, catty, incoherent, pablum-spewing, tna-bots on legs in hot pants and tank tops passing for women that populate pretty much the entirety of VH1. They aren’t confident; their actual bitchiness hides insecurities revolving around a lack of real lasting skills and a limited shelf life on the few skills they do have, mostly fucking, flirting, and wearing bikinis. They’re actual Bitches, the kind one only fucks out of spite. I’m talking about a real woman with skills, ambition, opinions, and isn’t afraid to ruffle feathers. And has an ass that won’t quit, but that’s just gravy.

But with ambition and success comes conflict and chaos. That’s okay. It’s a good thing. It means you have something more to your life than misgivings and petty disagreements. With this territory comes a crisis of ability: with so many conflicts adding up, you can no longer afford to dismiss and then dwell. You have to either dismiss completely or confront. Decide it’s not important, or take the offender to task. You’ll be more productive, happier, healthier, and way sexier. I promise.

And if you do follow through and stop declaring yourselves “fine,” I promise that I (speaking solely for myself but hopefully for successful, erudite men as a whole) will stop asking “What’s wrong?”

Agreed? Good.

Sincerely,

Your most ardent admirer.

The Ms. Kinsey Report

The Great Hand Job Experiment

Awhile back I started asking around about hand jobs. Yes, there was a reason, as I explain below, but it turned out that the things people started telling me sort of eclipsed the original question. The way people answered was so refreshing and funny that there was really nothing to do but sum up the responses and circulate them. Quotes are in italics. So, here’s my little Kinsey Report…

Back Story: The other day I was privy to a conversation between two mid-twenty-something guys discussing their recent sexual escapades. They had both hooked up with girls the previous weekend, and both had gotten hand jobs. We’re talking to completion here, no mouth or other areas involved. And here’s the kicker: this wasn’t a we’re-doing-this-because-we-haven’t-done-anything-else-yet thing. One of the couples has had sex, another has had oral sex. My first reaction was ‘I don’t even remember the last time I did that’. My next thought was ‘Oh my god is everyone doing this but me?! Am I the one girl who’s not giving hand jobs?! Aah!’ There was only one way to find out so I started asking around.

Results: Turns out there was a pretty wide range of responses. A couple girls had never actually given one all the way to the end (“because it’s always led to something else…Isn’t it like a massage that’s not hard enough – can be more frustrating than enjoyable?”), and one person had only ever given one until a few weeks ago (“and basically I did it as a joke”, she said of her second). Another- “Honestly, I think the last time I gave a hand job to completion was when it prematurely completed itself”. Well honey, maybe you’re just too hot. Yowza.

Some people fell into a broad category that ranges from I-didn’t-want-to-give-a-blow-job-right-then-and-he-didn’t-ask-me-to-do-anything-else-so-boom-hand-job, to I-sort-of-hate-blow-jobs-in-fact-I-just-really-don’t–give-them-EVER-so-I-give-hand-jobs-instead.

There were a few who gave hand jobs on a regular basis, either because “it’s fun and sexy to mix things up” or “because like 30 seconds after he comes he’s ready to go again so I just give him a little help for a few moments and, voila”. FYI the latter is basically a multiple orgasm and was reported by only a very few people, so give your guy a congratulatory (envious?) little kiss (bite?) if this is him. “It’s just on the menu for some people”, said someone else.

Juicy tidbit: The Gays are all about hand jobs “because we’re usually more sexually adventurous and you can give them in public places like under the table at a bar”. God love ‘em.

In the end the majority were like me, as in, wow, it’s been a looooong time. Not that we never go there, it’s just we tend to “… use it as a “combo” option to help speed up other activites, or as a pre-cursor to other activities”, as one person explained, echoing a lot of people. Question is, has it been too long? Are our sex lives so proscribed that once we reach a certain point we never look back? What do men have to say?

To my somewhat incredulous reaction (“you got a… a what….?”) about their experiences both of the aforementioned guys shrugged, grinned, and said, “it felt great!” Ok. But then this response came from an email signed “Anonymous person who isn’t going to run for political office”:

In my opinion, and I’m pretty sure that I speak on behalf of 98% of all guys:

• The last time I got a hand job was in high school (and for anyone giving them out post-high school, come on! COME ON! Or even better, just COME! If I can stop watching Family Matters and Step by Step, you can stop giving hand jobs)
• Yes, hand jobs are enjoyable. But so is eating a somewhat dry bag of popcorn and watching paint dry for up to 15 seconds. A hand job is relatively less enjoyable than any other form of sexual activity. I would go so far as to argue, that I’d rather just make out than going down that route (get it? going down?).

“Maybe this guy just hasn’t ever had a good hand job”, observed Dana, my roommate, full of pity for him. But other guys also reported not being into them (from one such guy, “hand jobs are at best the 5 second fore-play to a blow job and they should stay in that 5 seconds” and another who might be a tad more flexible, “Hand jobs are only legit if the pants are still on. That being said, why the hell are your pants still on…Okay, it’s also legit if she goes HJ in between lays”). Many people pointed out that guys are “basically giving themselves a hand job every time they jerk off so they kind of know how to do it better”, “That’s another reason The Gays are into it, we know what we’re doing”.

So which is it? “Yah I’d like more hand jobs” (“Really?!”, his girlfriend exclaimed), “I’d rather just make out”, or “I’m all for them and some girls try but usually just can’t get me there”? The following response by a guy who knows waaay more about investment banking than I ever want to is probably on to something:

Bottom line is, until you can find someone able and willing to fully customize your sexual activity portfolio with a dynamic asset allocation tailored to your individual needs, its probably better to scan the Internet for new material and continue managing your own business by yourself.

Ok, well, managing your own business aside, it comes down to the fact that everyone is different. There’s not even a consensus whether a hand job speeds things up or ends up taking longer. However there are guys out there who mentioned that they would actually like a hand job every once in a while. “Why not?” asks one person. Why not indeed? And maybe Dana is right- maybe the quality of hand jobs out there just sucks, er, well, maybe ’sucks’ isn’t quite the right word…

Here’s the plan- if you’re getting some this weekend try a hand job. “… should I mention that plenty of lube was involved?”, asks one person of a recently enjoyed hand job- YES, you should, for gods sake. Reminder: enough saliva and you’ve got lube. Tip: One person only likes hand jobs in the shower, with “plenty of soap and water”. (Tip #2: Somewhat counter-intuitive and leaves me skeptical but hey-don’t-knock-it-’til-you’ve-tried-it – the dry handjob apparently has a small cult following. “Doesn’t that chafe?”, I exclaim. “Well yah I was a little sore but I came”, a friend says with a look that I’m pretty sure meant, “so it doesn’t matter that I was sore, duh“). And ladies it does you and your partner no favors unless you ask the guy what works and what doesn’t.

Who knows, maybe hand jobs wills be on your menu more often. Or maybe they won’t. But in a world of such varied preferences where we too often put ourselves on auto-pilot, it’s at least worth trying to switch back to manual every now and then, right?

PS I realize this article is all about pleasing the guy, it just happened that way. Yet as one person points out, “…part of my calculating strategy- if it’s more pleasurable for him, then he’ll do his best to make it more pleasurable for me (which has turned out to be true- thankfully)”.

YOU are what makes my research practical and interesting. Willing to anonymously answer upcoming sex and dating queries? Submit your email address here

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La Tur: Eating Cheese with a Spoon

My great love in life, besides all things wine, puppies that stay puppies forever, food, and my husband, is cheese. For my money, there is no better thing to eat stacked or slathered on bread, except butter sprinkled with fleur de sel when one forgets their purchases at the cheese shop. My name is Kirstin Jackson Ellis, and I am your cheese and wine Engyne columist. When not at Engyne, I am either focusing on my wine and food pairing blog, Vin de la Table (Vindelatable.blogspot.com), writing for publications, managing a wine bar, acting as a wine and food consultant, or just simply, eating and drinking, preferably on a balcony.

La Tur: Eating Cheese with a Spoon

Although numerous sophisticates allege that it is the harder, aged cheeses that are the best and most nuanced examples of fermented milk, I’ve always secretly preferred cheese that I can eat with my favorite baby spoon. One closest to my heart is La Tur.

The first time I tried La Tur was at the end of my workday at a cheese specialty counter. Too ripe to sell, but too good to toss, the manager suggested that I take an older, gooey La Tur home to sample.

Enveloped in this cream-colored cylinder, I discovered, were all the best characteristics of a soft goat, sheep, and cow’s milk cheese. Crafted with expert amounts of each animal’s milk, the flavors in La Tur miraculously highlighted one another’s flavors without competing for attention. Grassy and lemony like a goat cheese, mildly nutty like a sheep’s cheese, and rich and buttery like a cow’s cheese, La Tur had more texture and flavor variations than Mariah Carey has pink shoes.

About two inches tall and three inches across, La Tur has a rippled surface that calms one’s heart like lapping ocean waves at night. Directly below this exterior reminiscent of a French natural-rind goat cheese is a layer of pure cheese silk. When the young, the layer is around one-eighth of an inch thick. During the height of ripeness, this silk completely takes over the cheese’s interior, at the point which La Tur’s center is similar to a soft sheep’s milk cheese like Old Chatham’s Nancy’s Camembert, or the European Brebis or Spanish Nevat. This is when to dip your spoon directly in the cheese. Before La Tur achieves this ripe state, its center is lightly flaky, with a fresh goat cheese like paste.

And the flavors? They range from lemon to herbal, from mushroom to nutty, and from sweet and buttery to tangy and milky. They offer as many nuances as its texture and change as cheese matures.

Produced in the Langhe region of Piedmont, Italy, La Tur is made by the Caseificio Dell’Alta Langa company, craftspeople of softer style Italian cheeses. After the milks have been combined, pasteurized, and the fermentation process has been invoked, the cheese is ladled into molds, where they age for ten days before they makes their way home to our fridges.

Knowing La Tur is a fresh cheese from the Piedmont region of Italy helps with wine pairing. Try La Tur with a low-oak red wine like a Dolcetto or Nebbiolo, from the same Piedmont region as the cheese. If you want to branch out, one could pair the cheese with a equally bright, low oak wine like a Cru Beaujolais (Gamay) or Loire Valley Red (Cabernet Franc). As for whites, try a minimally oaked grape, such as a Chenin Blanc aged in stainless steel, a Sauvignon Blanc, an un-oaked Chardonnay, or a another white from Northern Italy. Or, try a white wine also from the Piedmont region like a peachy, fresh sparkling Prosecco.

Whatever you do, give the cheese a chance to shine. Let it come to room temperature, when it will charmingly stick to the cheese paper with which it’s packed, and then enjoy it’s engaging simplicity. La Tur is one of the classiest cheeses you can dip your spoon in.

Pleasing Your Grease Monkey

Automotive mechanics — known to most as grease monkeys, lube jockeys, crank twirlers and dipstick wranglers — have got it rough. First off, they have to deal with cynical bloggers editorializing their profession with demeaning nicknames which he or she just made up. Second, they have to deal with your crappy car.

But let’s not start off on such an antagonist foot. We here at Engyne want to help you (and your car) harmonize with its shepherd, the unfortunate and misunderstood mechanic. There are some tips and tricks (having very little to do with cars) that could save both of you some grief the next time your tires are tender.

“No Johnny! Put Down That Impact Gun!!”

Like dentists, whose profession is anecdotally believed to inspire suicide, the mechanic most often sees customers whose cars have cavities, so to speak. Though no reports suggest that Johnny the Shop Tech may have a death wish, there’s an interesting metaphor that the two professions do share. We “know” we’re supposed to get our teeth and our cars checked out by the pros once or twice a year, and we “know” it’s a gamble if we don’t. If you bet and lose in either case, it’s going to cost you. Aside from the cliché of regular maintenance, there are more subtle ways to have a good shop experience…

Lessening Baby Vomit and Winning Your Mechanic’s Favor

Though we’d all probably have the common sense to avoid eating corn on the cob before seeing our dental hygienist, the same courtesy isn’t often extended to mechanics. In fact, the chief complaint heard from many mechanics is not about what’s broken on the car… it’s about how you present the car, and yourself! A short list of the not-so-unbelievable stuff that this writer’s mechanic has found inside of customer’s rides includes condoms, juicy fast food wrappers, tampons, tragically misplaced underwear, obscene customer photographs and a couple of loaded handguns. Cleaning up a bit for your mechanic may seem a bit finicky, right? Why would these greasy, tattooed sons of bitches care about a bit of cat dander and literal spilled milk? Well, in the mind of a mechanic, that ass-scented car is the one he wants to avoid all day, and it may consequently wind up staying overnight before the hood is ever lifted! Take the junk from-out your trunk and you may get your car back quicker.

“But I Thought My Mercedes Had Keyless Locks…”

If you’re wondering why your mechanic would even be looking through your car’s interior, it might be because you have a wheel lock, and forgot to mention it. A wheel lock is simply a lug nut with a pattern on it, requiring a key to remove it in order to prevent theft of your rims. Some owners don’t even know their car has a wheel lock until a frustrated mechanic tells them so in the middle of a job. So if you or someone you love has a wheel lock, find the key and make sure the mechanic doesn’t need to look too far.

Running on Empty – Not as Fun as Jackson Browne Led Us to Believe

Make sure you have at least a quarter of a tank of gas in the car. A good mechanic needs to take your car out for a test drive for your car’s performance and your safety. They’ll charge you to fill it up anyway, and it’s best not to piss off anyone who has access to your undercarriage… which is to say, your car’s undercarriage.

“So… Where Do You Want These Blood Samples?”

If your car has a problem, it’s nice to be somewhat descriptive, but there is a limit to how much you need to tell your mechanic. We’ve heard of a customer recording his car’s hourly issues in several weeks’ worth of logbooks and giving them to the shop mechanic. Doing this may seem like a favor, but to your mechanic it’s probably more like taking two week’s worth of cat shit to a veterinarian. It’s theoretically helpful for diagnosis, but it’s probably not necessary to fix most problems. A mechanic works by recreating the issue in the shop where it can be observed first-hand. Giving the basics is usually fine — “it won’t start” or “it won’t stop” are often almost enough for a good mechanic to go on. You may even want to take a test drive with your mechanic if you’re having difficulty communicating the problem verbally.

…And You Can Engage in Multicultural Exchanges While You Wait!

We’ve discussed some tips on improving your mechanic-driver relations, but how about a really clever one just for you, the prudent shopper?: Consider going to a shop that is off the beaten path a bit. Auto shops that are right in the middle of the best part of town or located on busy streets may be more likely to have higher rates so they can afford that high-visibility real estate. A mechanic who works in a lower-rent area may be able to pass the savings on to you!

Today we celebrate our Independence Day

Have you ever noticed that a kid’s brain is like a sponge? And that when you expose said kid to something unsavory, she’ll sop it all up and spit it back out at you?

When I was growing up, my brothers and I would instantly and effortlessly memorize all the lines to whatever movies we had watched, and then regurgitate entire scenes of dialogue at inopportune moments – dinnertime, church, weddings, you name it. We had a clear preference for the melodramatic pre-battle pep talk. Our favorite was the speech given by the illustrious Bill Pullman, of Spaceballs fame, to pilots about to fight aliens in the art piece, Independence Day. You no doubt recall this scene: Bill Pullman and his mop-top hair are perched atop an army-green truck flanked by fighter jets. In a devil-may-care combination of everyman style and leadership flair, he is sporting an impeccably matched dress shirt and tie underneath a leather bomber jacket, and his index finger is hooked jauntily in the waistband of his flat-front dress pants. He is the definition of tool. In what was probably intended as a moment of American movie magic, President Pullman somdomizes a poem by Welshman Dylan Thomas, then shouts unnecessarily into the handheld microphone of a bullhorn: “Today… we celebrate… our independence day!” The crowd goes wild.

Laugh if you will, but the speech raises an important question. President Pullman points out that the group assembled before him would not be fighting against “tyranny, oppression, or persecution,” but rather for their lives. The character argues that the “petty differences” that have divided humans (you know, petty things like tyranny, oppression, and persecution) must surely cease to consume us now people are united under the common threat of aliens. And as we all know from Katrina or the war on terror, nothing stops oppression in its tracks quite like a common threat. The independence day President Pullman speaks of, then, is simply one more day free from death. Call me a downer, but – what kind of shitty independence is that?

Honestly, what good is independence? Freedom from what? To do what? Here at Engyne, we’re going to talk a lot about “the independent woman.” But why do we, as women, want to strive for independence? Let’s really think about this – because clearly, independence doesn’t necessarily mean something awesome.

When we talk about independence of the person in political theory, my field of study, we talk about autonomy. For a long time, autonomy was understood as radical freedom from the kind of “burdens” that make participation in public spheres – places like the workplace and politics – difficult. Feminists in the 20^th century pointed out, however, that this notion of autonomy – the “radically free” person – was paradoxical: those “radically free” men were capable of participation in the workplace and in politics solely because of the work of women. Without women to raise children, press those suits, clean toilets, make food, take minutes – in other words, keep the world functioning – men wouldn’t be able to participate in these public spheres as they did. It’s not that those burdens didn’t exist; it’s just that men got out of having to take care of them. This notion of autonomy, then, was premised on at best an omission, and at worst a dirty, exploitative lie – the denial of the dependence of those in the public sphere on those in the private sphere. Autonomy got a bad reputation among feminists – it was seen as perpetrating the lie that humans aren’t all dependent on someone; a lie that swept the hard work of billions of women under the rug as “unpaid labor.”

Truth is, we’re all dependent on others to various degrees in our lives. We’re dependent on our parents as children, dependent on our children when we’re older, and dependent on a multitude of people in the in-between years – employers, the state, tech repair. Autonomy, this independence of the individual, didn’t seem to make much sense or be a useful concept.

Feminists eventually began to reconsider their rejection of autonomy. Because let’s face it – sure, it’s important to admit that no one is radically independent of others, but dangit, sometimes you really want out of a specific situation of dependence. As much as men during the height of the division of labor were dependent on the work of women, women were dependent on men in a more frightening way – a man could make do if his wife left him because the work of women for men was systemic; somewhere, there would still be women to take his notes, serve him a meal, press his clothes. If a woman found herself divorced, however, there was no preexisting network of men there to pay her rent, help her feed the kids, give her the good credit or legal authority to buy a new house.

Things are different today, sure. But we as women still need to be mindful or our autonomy – our independence. Think you’re in a relationship with a great guy, and you’re gonna move into a great apartment together? Do you think it will be great paying half the rent if that great guy moves out? Think you can share your finances with your partner because what’s hers is yours and yours is hers? Well then, do you think you’ll be happy with all the purchases she makes with money that you worked your tail off to earn? No matter how great the guy or gal: people make mistakes, relationships fall apart, accidents happen, and no one completely agrees with someone else about how money should be spent.

Financial independence is a big issue, for anyone, but especially women. If you consider yourself an intelligent, independent minded woman, check your bank account and insurance – and make sure you have in there the means to be fiscally independent if push comes to shove. You want three months rent in there should something unexpected happen, like job loss or an injury; you want enough insurance to cover days you’d have to take off of work in the event of such an injury, too. You should also know how much money you spend a month – honestly, a real, accurate budget – and be able to cover a few months of expenses out of savings, too. And this is no-touchy money; it’s emergency moolah. When you’ve just graduated from high school or college, saving up around four thousand dollars to not touch it, and then spending even more money on insurance, sounds like the last thing you want to do – or are even capable of doing. Well, TRY.

Why? It’s not just because fiscal independence is a good thing. It’s good in its own right, that’s for sure; but there’s something else. Fiscal independence enables us to think about who we want to be, and work towards becoming that person. Autonomy, as feminists have shown, clearly can’t mean radical freedom from others in our actions; it can mean, however, the freedom to think for ourselves, to decide what we value, and try to act on those values. In this sense, autonomy means the freedom to create our own identities. To be who we want to be. It’s very difficult to have that kind of freedom, however, when you’re consumed with troubles over late rents, job loss, a relationship that has ruined your plans or forced you to move. Sure, you can try to find yourself in even the most abject poverty; some even find that being removed from material things helps them to better understand who they are and who they want to be. But for most of us, practically speaking, worrying about how to pay for the groceries this week is going to impinge on our attempts at self-determination. It’s going to make it hard to think about who we want to be and what we want to do in life, and will make it much more difficult to achieve those goals.

So, as women, you and I should be concerned with fiscal autonomy, but for a much bigger reason than money alone – because we want to decide for ourselves who we want to be, and work to become that person. That kind of independence is worth celebrating, whatever the day.

And on a closing note – make sure you tell all the awesome young women you know the same thing. Young women, even awesome ones, sometimes forget the importance of independence when they first start getting very serious about relationships. Romantic relationships inevitably involve a certain degree of interdependency, and this can often be an exciting and wonderful feeling. But don’t forget to remind your awesome sisters, daughters, nieces, and friends that the closeness that the interdependency of a relationship brings is only made sweet when it’s contrasted with the resolute independence of each participant in the relationship. Don’t feel comfortable having that conversation? You can still be a good role model. A kid’s brain is like a sponge. Give the awesome young women you know something good to sop up.

That’s positive social engyneering.

To Be or Not Be Your Own Boss?

My mother recently said to me: “I don’t know, maybe you’re meant to be a princess.”

She was referring to what she and my father call my “Quixotic relationship to employment.” The truth is, regardless of what job I get and how interesting it initially is, I eventually grow annoyed with working for someone else. The little things they do “wrong” with their company drive me batty and henceforth, my dedication to said magazine/agency/corporate monster withers.

Something about working for someone else can, in fact, be considered liberating. One doesn’t have to worry about the big picture. The big picture is scary, and, in many people’s minds, rests easier in the hands of someone else. All one has to do is do what one is told. Simple, (mindless, boring…).

On the same token, working for someone else is limiting as well. Creativity, outspokenness, and individuality can be an asset to an entrepreneur, but are seen as disadvantageous in employees. I myself have been called a “brat,” “ungrateful,” and been given a verbal list of suggested New Year’s resolutions.

This treatment has led me to many a time fantasizing about working for myself.

Nevermind the fact that, if left to my own devices at home, I would eat all the food I bought at Trader Joe’s that week, learn new dance moves on YouTube, and color-code my closet– those are subsidiary to the real benefits.

Working for oneself has what I would consider the most important element to employment: self-satisfaction. Most working Americans spend over half their waking hours at work-­ why go if it sucks? Even if as a self-employed individual, in all likelihood, you end up working longer hours for less pay initially, you actually have chosen your own course of business and are invested and therefore care more about what you are doing. Rather than depending on the salary train, the amount of work you do is directly linked to how much money you take in. Of course, you need to be intrinsically responsible and comfortable with uncertainty (which we will get into later), but the potential to tackle your work load with enthusiasm, rather than distain, is my biggest reason for recommending self-employment to anyone tired of the bullshit.

I guess one has to choose by what boundaries and limitations one wants to be held or not held. If you want to get those ten days off a year so you can have a reliable income and go to Cabo or work on your house for two weeks, then great- do your thing and get down in that cubicle. However, if you’re smart and can’t be satisfied by a life devoid of innovation and personal expression, the prospect of entrepreneurialism might be worth exploring.